I love a clean house.
I finally cleaned out my closet. I tried on almost everything and decided to get rid of some stuff Ive been holding on to then made a couple piles of clothes. One for donation and the other to sell to the local consignment store. Did all the laundry and reorganized. There is something very soul-cleansing about purging and getting rid of the things we don’t need anymore.
A lot of times we hold on to things because we feel we have to. Whether it cost a lot or someone gave it to us or we ‘think’ there is some sentimental value to it. We hold on to to things because we think having more ‘stuff’ increases our net worth somehow.
And sometimes the things we are holding on to don’t have good energy in them. Maybe it was a gift that was received during a not so good point in our lives or a sweater left behind in a bad break up. Sure, it might be cashmere but just seeing these items can bring us directly back to that moment in time and sets the mind on a journey of ‘what-ifs’, ‘should-haves’, ‘if-onlys’ and ‘oh-brothers’.
Mine was a baseball hat. A hat I had always liked and made sure I acquired (stole rather) during a messy break up about 12 years ago.
I love that hat. It fits well, fades nicely and is trendy.
But every time I even just see that hat, let alone wear it, I remember that relationship. Every time. While there were good points during our dating, the bad times heavily outweighed them.
I live my life believing that we are all exactly where we are supposed to be and that everyone in our lives are brought to us to teach us a lesson that we need to learn. I don’t regret that relationship and I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.
But that hat needed to go.
Seeing or wearing it didn’t often bring up those great dinners or fun nights spent on the town. It almost always brought up the break up and some pretty nasty things that were said at the end leaving me in a state of negative retrospect.
Holding on to the hat for so many years was a way for me to hold on to a piece of that relationship. A piece of time. Good or bad.
It was time to let it go. To let the hat slip in to the abyss of forgotten garments.
But in the letting go, something happened. A weight lifted and the personal journey of burden trying to figure out 12 years of all the ‘what-ifs’, ‘should-haves’ and ‘if-onlys’ ended.
Maybe we should all make the time every so often to find out what those things are that we are holding on to that may not be serving us any longer, and make the decision to let them go.
Now if only cleaning the toilet were that gratifying.